Why identity matters for mental health

If I were to ask you who you are, what would you say?

I’m a mother – role-based

I’m a graduate – achievement-based

I’m single – relationship-based 

I’m Luo – ethnicity-based

I’m an introvert – personality-based

I’m a child of God – faith-based 

I am a failure – struggle-based 

The truth is, “We’re all a mix of these. A healthy sense of identity balances them, without letting one aspect (especially a negative one) become the whole story. The way we see ourselves has a powerful effect on our mental health. 

When we know who we are, we feel more grounded, confident, and resilient, but when our identity feels shaky or unclear, it can leave us anxious, depressed, or constantly seeking approval. 

Identity is like an anchor that keeps us stable and rooted when life throws challenges our way. Without a strong sense of self, we may feel lost, easily swayed by other people’s opinions, or stuck in cycles of comparison. 

When we define ourselves only by achievements, relationships, or what others expect, our mental health suffers because when we lose these things, our self-worth wavers. It is healthier to base our identity to include our values, strengths, and purpose; we build healthier self-esteem and reduce the risk of depression or burnout. 

We are shaped by family, culture, faith, and experiences. A healthy sense of identity helps us belong in different communities authentically without losing ourselves. When we deny or hide parts of who we are or hide them in order to fit in, loneliness and shame can creep in. 

Struggles with identity affect mental health. Many people wrestle with questions like: 

Am I good enough?

Do I really fit in?

Am I living my true values?

These struggles, if left unaddressed, can fuel stress, anxiety, or even self-destructive behaviors. The good news is, identity is not fixed… it can grow and heal. 

Some ways to strengthen your sense of identity include: 

• Journaling: Writing helps us reflect on who we are and what we value.
• Therapy or counseling: Safe spaces help us explore identity without judgment.
• Mindfulness: Paying attention to our thoughts and feelings builds self-awareness.
• Community support: Surrounding ourselves with people who affirm us strengthens our sense of belonging.

At Write Life Kenya, we believe that understanding who you are is a vital step to mental well-being. Identity is more than a label; it’s your story, your values, and your worth. And every step you take to embrace it is a step toward better mental health.